Tory Snub letter in Full

Reply From Justine Greening

Remember this letter is almost two months late and contains no apology whatsoever to residents or those on the Hoo Peninsula.

Lets go over it with a fine tooth pick:

First paragraph: Oh yes you sent me a letter in January but I have been so very very busy botching up our railways to notice. Cant say that so I'd rather no comment as to why the delay to respond.

Second paragraph: That despite the numerous letters sent to Tracey Crouch MP and Mark Reckless MP we have actually been unofficially consulting and have 600 unpublished contributions to a debate. Oh but dont worry that wasnt a consultation on scoping for an aviation paper because we have not actually consulted yet. Oops... that reads a bit like I have eer, consulted.

Third paragraph: George Osborne (my benefactor, supporter and boss) is keen on an airport on the Hoo Peninsula he has told me we need to come to a solution on aviation. Just ignore all those letters we sent to Tracey Crouch MP and Mark Reckless MP from prior to last year. We changed our minds.

Fourth paragraph: Contradicts the first because outlines there will be a consultation, and in that consultation all options will be considered but oh well... We will also consider all options for an airport accept in well, eer, Heathrow expansion, Gatwick (until 2019) and Stansted. Leaves Birmingham and North Kent.

Fifth paragraph: Because we cant be bothered to make the tough and necessary decisions, I will now add what little piece of immaterial policy that I am persuing in the vain attempt to persuade you the Conservative government has a clue.

Sixth paragraph: Because Medway MPs are being lambasted as doing nothing I cant afford the opposition Labour Party to lead local people on a campaign via the Council. I therefore want to ensure that all future opposition campaigns go through your local Conservative Parliamentary representatives only. Darn those opposition people making noises and actually campaigning and curses be upon them for inviting my opposite number.

I need an excuse not to meet you and this is the best one; my diary is so very very full.

Not full enough for breakfast with Boris Johnson though a Justine...